Some tips for moderating political speech and keeping relationships intact | Anderson

On one of Athens’ gates, I’m told, was once written “Pan Metron Ariston," which roughly translates to “Moderation in All Things.” 

A fine idea, and an indication that moderation was, indeed, considered a virtue. What it is not is an indication that Athenians were moderate – rather the reverse.

Classical Athens, which produced great monumental art, poems and plays still read and performed today, and the nascent beginnings of philosophy and rhetoric, was a rough, loud, pushing-and-shoving democracy.

It brings to mind Socrates being dragged through the Agora by his hair, shouting at his tormentor “so this is the real strength of your argument!”; or Diogenes spitting on his debate opponents from a giant clay jar (where he lived); or Demosthenes practicing speeches with his mouth full of pebbles so when it came time to ring out in the assembly, he could be articulate above the roar of his detractors. 

Not moderate. Not them, and not us. 

We are not a calm bunch, and as we start into the hottest part of the campaign season, there are a few rules that could allow us to get out of it with our relationships intact. Let me suggest a lucky seven:

• Avoid meeting disagreement with ad hominem attacks. Name-calling is not an argument and only raises the temperature, not our general knowledge.
• Be clear. A jumble of party talking points is not debate. Besides, we’ve all heard them before. No need to rinse and repeat Instagram.
• Listen to what’s said. Much of the frustration we feel is that despite having cobbled together a persuasive political position, we know that the person we’re talking to is just waiting for us to run out of steam so they can roll over us with their charming erudition. If it’s to be an exchange of ideas/points/positions, you have to hear them first in order to have anything meaningful to “exchange.”
• Feedback and feed back. Before you explode into a stratospheric fit over the horror of what you just thought you heard, make sure you actually heard it first: Be the one to give back what you think was said — especially in complex issues — before responding. Especially if you can’t believe what you just heard. 
• Never, ever, start with “everyone knows…” or “we all agree that…”  Not everyone does. Startle us with facts.  Usually, stuff like this comes out because we all neither know it nor all believe it, and the speaker is simply trying to avoid providing evidence.
• Don’t be afraid to be wrong. You may not only learn things from your exchanges, you may change your mind.  Make “I learned from you” part of your political vocabulary, along with “I was wrong, I think you may have an important point, there.”
• Never talk down to someone and please, please avoid “mansplaining” and “expert” talk. Politics turns on opinion and preferences. How politics works is factual mechanics, but what the process should produce is an opinion. No one but your faithful Fido likes to be patted on the head.

Political debate is, by its nature, emotional as well as practical. The most important thing we must all remember is that people’s politics turn on two basic, foundational things: how they were taught to see the political world as they became adults, and the individual interests that drive them. A banker and a teacher will see the political world fundamentally differently: They want different things from government (or want less – sometimes a lot less – than they are getting).

An awful anomaly:Violence can never be allowed into US politics | R. Bruce Anderson

The most important thing to remember is why you talk to these folks to begin with. They are your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers. They are people you care about, and they’ll be around long after any ephemeral weirdness of the campaigns you are currently freaking out about. 

We should never pick our friends by their politics (and family are assigned by a higher power). Be calmer, be reasonable, and no hitting.

R. Bruce Anderson is the Dr. Sarah D. and L. Kirk McKay, Jr. Endowed Chair in American History, Government, and Civics and Miller Distinguished Professor of Political Science at Florida Southern College. He is also a columnist for The Ledger and political consultant and on-air commentator for WLKF Radio in Lakeland.